When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved
By a God so high
What can I do but thank You,
What can I do but give my life to You
What can I do but praise You,
Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah
A hallelujah, hallelujah
Hello fine readers!
This is a day for giving thanks. I love the Paul Baloche song above that reflects on that topic. I hope you had some time to check in with yourself and take stock of the goodness that surrounds you. And if this time was a lonely or sad day, I pray that you won't be overlooked in your sadness.
I've been thinking about suffering lately. Not that I think I have it so bad, I really don't. I have many around me right now on their knees with sadness and pain. You will have your own list of sadness or challenge going on in your life or in the lives of those you love. What I find so interesting is that when we find ourselves suffering, we can be embarrassed by any sign of struggle, weakness or tears, and instead hide our trials under feeble smiles. Instead of bearing each other's burdens, we so often pat each other on the back, mumble, "I'll pray for you" or "thinking of you" and then walk away and forget. I've been guilty of this time and again. I've had to ask for forgiveness often.
I have learned from Noah's story that putting on a happy face undermines my true identity. We should not find suffering an embarrassment. Sharing lament can deepen your relationships, even transforming sorrow into praise. I have such a hope after the last 10 months that you can be deeply sad (or in case of depression, a feeling of emptiness) and still survive. God doesn't condemn emotion. I am reminded when I hear stories of others hurting that I am not the only to have suffered in life. I am also reminded not to shut down, especially when I'm in pain. Simple? Not at all. But like all things, a journey.
Jared and I are surely grateful for the blessings each day brings to our life with Noah. Sometimes the blessings are not straight forward. To that end, this past week Noah was discharged as a GI patient. It was hard to hear that there is simply nothing they can do for Noah. And then in some ways, it was good to know they weren't willing to subject him to more invasive testing. Time will tell us much about Noah in terms of his potential allergy to milk/soy, his ability to take faster feeds, if the Neocate is necessary etc. We have decided not to yet test Noah's sensitivity to milk. We'll wait perhaps 6 months so that we do not subject him to multiple attempts at switching his formula. That act alone can cause complications, so it was advised not to attempt it more than once or twice.
I give thanks that the Dr. agreed with us about Noah's medication dose. We dropped it in half and although I'm wondering if he is experiencing some discomfort, the side effects of this drug have always concerned me. We'll give this a trial run and see if he can sustain a lesser dose.
We were also pleased to know we will continue to have the help of our OT (feeding issues), Speech Pathologist (important for tube-fed kids), Home Nutrition (supplies, skin care advice and treatment), Dietitian (helping to calculate Noah's formula requirements) and Home Care Nurse (weight and general help). This group of wonderful women have provided such practical help through the last year.
Unfortunately Noah has developed yet another sore under his bolster on his g-tube. Grrrrr. So begins the 2-3 baths a day to clean it and keep it well creamed. The trouble is, he is getting stronger and more sure of himself which means he isn't as agreeable to having me turn his bolster, clean the tube site and apply cream and gauze. Really this is minor but it just reminds us that Noah's care isn't always simple. THANKFULLY, we feel confident in our ability to help him and care for his skin. That same attitude applies to retches: it is so hard to watch but we have the tools to at least give him some relief by venting the tube.Here are some pictures of our sweet boy.....he is loving his first fall experience and we enjoyed a great hike with Oma this weekend at Heart Creek. Lots of lovely memories.
From our household to yours.................happy thanksgiving!!
ps. Here is a picture of our host family in Abbotsford. That's a lotta blondies in one room!! Thanks again, Susan & Jeff! Friends are great.